Can You Remember?

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They say you can’t remember your birth.  I’m going to change all that.  My Noni read this article about whether babies remember birth and told Mumma about it.  That’s why I know that I am going to remember everything.  For the first time ever you are going to get to know what birth is like because I am going to tell all.    This is ” Inside Edition”.  When I say “Inside” I really mean it.

As I floated in the near darkness in my warm chamber I felt so happy.  I could hear my Mumma talking to that old guy who doesn’t know what he wants me to call him.

Suddenly Mumma’s whole body did this funky thing and she yelled out “This is the worst one yet.”  She had that right.  The funky thing had been happening all week but I hadn’t let it bother me.  But this one actually pushed me down towards this small opening in my lovely home. Ten minutes later it happened again.  Again it pushed me closer and closer to that small hole.

Now look at that head and look at the small opening in the picture above and what do you see?    I know what you’re thinking  “NO way could anyone get out of there!”   Well that’s what I thought.

That funky thing called contractions pushed me right through that little hole and into the tunnel.  My head was very squished and the noises Mumma was making were very loud.  I was not happy. Suddenly there was one big funky move and someone was pulling on my head and I popped out of the tunnel.  The lights were bright and everyone was talking all at once.  Someone grabbed me and laid me on Mumma’s tummy.  I felt like I couldn’t breath so I opened my mouth and sucked in and since I was still a little mad about this whole event  I cried.  Don’t you think someone could come up with a better way to get me out of there?

Nap Time.

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